Sunday, April 26, 2009

My Unicorner

Crickets, I love Unicorns.
They frickin' rule. I love everything about them. I love that they are beautiful, I love that they poop sparkles and rose-petals and fart baby powder, I love that they puke rainbows, and I love that they are the only animals in the world that can totally stab you with their faces.

Although I have a pretty schweet day job, I have made it even schweeter by bringing my horny pals with me to work.

I have at my desk in my cubicle, a:

  • Unicorn piggy bank named Lady Penelope (Penny, get it?)
  • A Unicorn in a musical snow globe (Queen of the Sea Monkeys)
  • Lots of stuffed Unicorns (all appropriately named, of course)
  • A My Little Pony Unicorn (Chastity Boner)
  • A finger-puppet Unicorn (Scrappy)
  • A porcelain Unicorn head (Spanish Harlem)
  • A Unicorn bell (Joan Marie)
  • A Unicorn paper stamp (Shakespeare)
  • Lots of pictures of Unicorns

Here are some of them:





Here's one of the pictures next to my computer:





Here are three that hang out in the Unipark on my desk. The blue one is Xanadu, the yellow one is Sparkletail, and the pink one is Misty Morn:






So this may be hard to believe, but when I first brought my horny friends with me to work, some of the people who walked past my cube looked at me funny.
I have since come to understand that the look is one of admiration, mixed with jealousy. Unicorns only love the pure of heart, and typically only the pure of heart love them back.

Have you played leapfrog with a Unicorn today?

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