I Was A Teenage* DM (Part 1)

Well, as Wilson Phillips might have said it: I got myself into my own mess.

It wasn't enough any more to simply be the PC in someone else's universe. No. I wanted the power for myself. And now I'm terrified.

It started at one of the games that Reis and I attend on a Monday night. Reis (He of the wonderful Geek Orthodox blog) would wait for a lull in the action inside Todd's (smallish) apartment to take a smoke break, and often I'd follow him outside for some fresh air and a brief escape from the goings-on inside.

Reis (puffing contemplatively, one eye squinted almost shut): "You know what I'd like to get to do, just once? Honest-to-goodness dungeon crawl.

Ryan: "Reis, do you have to blow smoke directly into my face?"

Reis: "But Todd has been clear from the start. He hates dungeon crawls."

Ryan: "Yup. that's what he said. Umm...could you not flick your ashes onto my clothes? I mean, I wouldn't say anything, but it's like you're aiming directly at..."

Reis: "You know what else? I never played genuine D&D rules. That would be awesome."

Ryan: "*cough*"

Reis: "Hey. Here's an idea. We should start up our own campaign. Go old-school. Get some homies together and just do some real grinding. Man, that would be hella sweet."

Ryan: "Well, I guess I could download a pre-made game of the internet...do you have any friends that might want to play?"

Reis: "Nah, maybe I can think of a guy. I'll ask him. See what he says. Why don't you just take care of it?"

Ryan: "You mean, come up with people who want to play D&D with us? Or do you mean-"

Reis: "I mean, take care of it. Make it happen. You do the hard work, and I show up and have a good time. What, are you stupid, or just hard of hearing?"

Ryan: "What? No! I can hear perfectly well-"

Reis: "Great. Fantastic. Let me know when everything's ready. In the meantime, hold out your hand."

Ryan: "Hold out my...why?"

Reis: "Do you see an ashtray anywhere, bitch?"


*(not really a teenager)

Star Trek: The Wrath of WhiteUnicorn

Hello Crickets!
I am excited today about two things that are going to happen at the same time:
Star Trek, and IMAX. Oh, and the third thing happens simultaneously as well: Saturday night.

Since the WhiteUnicorn's Significant Other, BlackDeathUnicorn, is out of town with his family on Mother's Day, I decided to let Reis, he of the fantastic Geek Orthodox fame, tag along.

Reis has never seen a movie on IMAX before *snicker*.

Now now, Crickets, lets not call him names like "loser" and "sad, sad person" and "lameoid custard-licking dweeb-farmer", however much the shoe fits.

Instead, let's be kind, and pay attention while I document a journey of galactic epicness: The Saga of Star Trek on IMAX.

Chapter 1: In Which WhiteUnicorn is Thoughtful, Sweet, and Clever and Handsome

The saga began, as all sagas do, with an email.

From: Whiteunicorn
Subject: What is that ringing sound?
To: Reis O'Brien
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 5:21 PM

Hey Reis
BlackDeathUnicorn will be out of town this weekend, and guess what else is happening...STAR TREK ON IMAX! Woot!

Now, if you are a complete asshat, you'll be all "But I got plans!"

But if you are awesome, you'll be all "Neato! Let's make it happen!"

Dude, seriously, don't be an asshat. Come see the movie.

Let me know if you can do it any time from Fri night thru Sun evening.

Chapter 2: In Which Reis Replies

From: Reis O'Brien
Subject: What is that ringing sound?
To: Whiteunicorn
Date: Monday, May 4, 2009, 7:41 PM

Well, despite the fact that I hate Star Trek, I have to admit that this movie looks awesome. I have plans Saturday afternoon, but my beautiful wife who is so much hotter than I deserve is going out with the girls that night. So I'll be free then.

Chapter 3: In Which WhiteUnicorn Continues to be Exceptionally Good-Looking

The saga had begun in earnest!
Our heroes had taken their first steps on their journey to the Pacific Science Center IMAX, as the prophecy had foretold. WhiteUnicorn (that's me, Crickets)sent his next email, and prayed to the Gods that Reis had survived his day's ordeals so that he might read it.

Crickets, as you may have heard, Reis is a pretty powerful wizard, outmatched only by myself. When we have our epic Magic the Gathering sorcerous duels, I tend to win. A lot.

From: Whiteunicorn
Subject: What is that ringing sound?
To: Reis O'Brien
Date: Tuesday, May 5, 2009, 6:12 PM

9:15pm Star Trek: The IMAX 05/09/09 ADULT 2

WOOT!

So seriously, if we are to get even halfway decent seats, we need to be in line about an hour before the show starts. We can sit on the floor (it's inside and carpeted).

This is the perfect opportunity for me to wipe the floor with you in Magic, and have all the people standing and sitting in line around us to watch a grown man cry like a little beeyotch.

Dude, I just saw the preview for the movie and it looks SO BADASS.

Chapter 4: In Which Reis Makes Me Laugh with Contempt and Derision

From: Reis O'Brien
Subject: What is that ringing sound?
To: Whiteunicorn
Date: Wednesday, May 6, 2009, 12:03 PM

Cool! We could probably meet up even earlier than that if you want. I have no problem waiting in line for a while.

Are you sure you want to cry like a little girl in a frilly pink dress in front of all those Trekkies? Well, okay...

Artist: April Solomon

When the irrepressible, man-about-town Reis O'Brien (he of the splendid Geek Orthodox blog), Todd, our fearless DM, and I visited the Emerald City Comicon, we had a lovely time. We laughed, we cried...and maybe we did a little soul-searching and gained some insight into the meaning of life.

But mostly we looked at stuff.

I am crazy about original art, and this lovely young lady named April Solomon had a stall with some of her art on display, which was amazing.

She works mostly with pen and colored pencil, and she draws mermaids and dragons and all manner of awesome things.

I had to buy this sketch she had lying around:



and then I asked her to draw a centaur for me, and she did this:



Here is the place you can see a few more examples of her work:

http://www.atomsanddust.deviantart.com/

And here is just one of her many awesome creations: